Maggie de Vera Blogs: REFLECTIONS…

Partners of addicts

Posted in ROYAL,Reflections,Uncategorized by Administrator on the April 25th, 2013

As I was reviewing my Facebook stream this morning, I saw a posting. I felt compelled to respond (although I’m not one that usually engages in debates via facebook comments. I wanted to share it and will write more on it later. (I’m about to get ready to go into the office soon).

Center for Healthy Sex
24 minutes ago
“Many partners of addicts have told me they feel bad about themselves for staying in the relationship because of the betrayal they’ve experienced. They imagine that the people who know their past judge them to be stupid for staying with the person who’s caused them so much pain. I often counter this thinking, explaining that leaving may seem quick and easy because they can pretend they’re okay and the problem has disappeared. However, if you leave your relationship, you’ll be stuck with your pain and sorrow without the person you loved to help you sort it out. Why is this true? Because even though it feels as if your pain comes from your partner, it’s actually coming from inside you.”
― Alexandra Katehakis, Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
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My Response:
Maggie de Vera- Although I don’t agree with others judging others, I also respectfully don’t agree with the counter thinking mentioned above. Although each situation can be different from situation to situation, sometimes when one stays with an addict, they are drained and depleted of their own energy; spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, financially. Sometimes, they themselves become addicted to their addict partners and enable the addict. Most of the time addicts have to hit rock bottom and lose what’s important before they seek help and make vital changes. I believe that partners of addicts allow their love to be expressed energetically and in words yet also set firm boundaries and remove themselves from the toxic environment if it has proven destructive to themselves and their life. Respectfully submitted.

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